The Buddha's Wife: The Path of Awakening Together, by Janet Surrey PhD, Samuel Shem MD
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The Buddha's Wife: The Path of Awakening Together, by Janet Surrey PhD, Samuel Shem MD
Ebook PDF The Buddha's Wife: The Path of Awakening Together, by Janet Surrey PhD, Samuel Shem MD
As the category of women’s spirituality continues to grow, The Buddha’s Wife offers to a broad audience for the first time the intimate and profound story of Princess Yasodhara, the wife Buddha left behind, and her alternative journey to spiritual enlightenment.What do we know of the wife and child the Buddha abandoned when he went off to seek his enlightenment? The Buddha’s Wife brings this rarely told story to the forefront, offering a nuanced portrait of this compelling and compassionate figure while also examining the practical applications her teachings have on our modern lives. Princess Yasodhara’s journey is one full of loss, grief, and suffering. But through it, she discovered her own enlightenment within the deep bonds of community and “ordinary” relationships. While traditional Buddhism emphasizes solitary meditation, Yasodhara’s experience speaks of “The Path of Right Relation,” of achieving awareness not alone but together with others. The Buddha’s Wife is comprised of two parts: the first part is a historical narrative of Yasodhara’s fascinating story, and the second part is a “how-to” reader’s companion filled with life lessons, practices, and reflections for the modern seeker. Her story provides a relational path, one which speaks directly to our everyday lives and offers a doorway to profound spiritual maturation, awakening, and wisdom beyond the solitary, heroic journey.
The Buddha's Wife: The Path of Awakening Together, by Janet Surrey PhD, Samuel Shem MD- Amazon Sales Rank: #661116 in Books
- Brand: Surrey, Janet/ Shem, Samuel
- Published on: 2015-06-30
- Released on: 2015-06-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.37" h x 1.20" w x 5.50" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 320 pages
Review "Smoothly written and with compelling applications of social and psychological theories as well as Buddhist tradition, this can serve both spiritual practitioners and secular readers seeking insight on strengthening themselves and their relationships." (Booklist)"After narrating the tale of Yasodhara’s survival and spiritual growth in the company of others, Surrey and Shem draw on Jean Baker Miller’s relational-cultural theory dealing with the importance of relationships, Zen peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh’s concept of interbeing, and other sources to investigate the power of connection to heal individuals and, perhaps, a suffering world." (Publishers Weekly)"In this creative, groundbreaking rendering, the relational ‘Yin’ of Buddhism, so often absent, is brought beautifully to life. The teachings are clear, vibrant, relevant. They guide us in loving more fully, and are the very grounds for healing our earth and bringing peace to our world." (Tara Brach, Ph.D., author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge)"A beautiful imagination of the feminine and relational side of the Buddha's tale." (Jack Kornfield, author of The Wise Heart)This long-untold story, a truly provocative teaching tale—timeless and timely, perfect for our disenchanted era—will prove useful and enlightening to those who seek to find freedom within relationships. Here is a whole fresh take on the well-tilled field of the historical Buddha's life and teaching. (Lama Surya Das, author of Awakening the Buddha Within)“The Buddha’s Wife is a gripping telling of an amazing 2,500-year-old story, followed by a collection of contemporary inspirational stories, and specific reflections and practices collected from the lives and work of ‘relational activists’ all over the world. A great read and a practical guide for anyone who wants to ‘wake up’ and walk a path of healing with others.” (Martin Sheen)"Bless you Janet, Sam, and Yashodhara for pointing us in the feminist clarity that we serve best as an ‘I’ in the nest of the ‘we’, being communal at home and the world was the smartest decision of my life. Let's help midwife a loving world." (Dr. Hunter "Patch" Adams, doctor, clown and activist for peace and justice)"An imaginative tour de force, this book lets the Buddha's central teaching shine through with stunning relevance for our lives today. Enlightenment or awakening has traditionally been viewed as a solitary achievement. The tale of Yasodhara offers a welcome and engaging counter-balance, where relationships are recognized as central to the Buddhist view of reality as well as to our personal lives. ALong with the engrossing story, the authors offer reflections and guidance on mindful practices that help us wake up to and through our relationships. Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike will want to train in the fullness of presence." (Joanna Macy, author of Coming Back to Life)“Though I'm not a Buddhist, I sense that this account deepens and adds beautiful shadings to the story of the Buddha's life. I know that in its focus on relationship, it's a powerful antidote to the hyperindividualism that marks our world.” (Bill McKibben, author of The Comforting Whirlwind)“A brave and life-changing book, The Buddha’s Wife speaks to perhaps the greatest challenge of our time, our false sense of separateness. For all people of all faiths, The Buddha’s Wife shifts perception and thus opens us to possibility. It touched me deeply.” (Frances Moore Lappe, author of Diet for a Small Planet)“Janet Surrey and Samuel Shem have written a remarkable book, both as a work of literature and a work of spiritual teaching. Through their moving personal story and their beautiful imagining of the life of Yasodhara, the Buddha’s wife, they describe a ‘relational path’ to awakening, one that contrasts with that of the heroic solitary seeker we see so often in religious texts and myths. The Buddha’s Wife comes at a time of distress and conflict in our culture and offers hope that we might learn to live together in a new way, founded in an understanding of our shared struggle for happiness and freedom.” (Kevin Griffin, author of One Breath at a Time and Recovering Joy)“The Buddha’s Wife carries us beyond any one religious tradition to launch us gently into streams of a universal wisdom. Therein is its spiritual power. This is a beautifully written book for all who know, at least intuitively, that our liberation—as people and as a planet—is rooted in our shared commitments to more radically relational and mutual ways of being than any of the major world religions (including Buddhism) either teach or practice.” ((The Rev) Carter Heyward, PhD, professor emerita of Theology, Episcopal Divinity School, Cambridge MA)“What must it have been like for the Buddha’s wife to be abandoned the night after her first child was born? Surrey and Shem have a brilliant story to tell, one of a heart shattered by loss, a community that doesn’t shy away from suffering, and a path to freedom that is radical yet ordinary, humble yet profound. The authors offer a healing vision, nurtured throughout their life together, that is just what our world.” (Christopher Germer, PhD, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion, co-editor of Mindfulness and Psychotherapy, clinical instructor at Harvard Medical School)“The Buddha’s Wife is a riveting tale that will move your heart and shift your focus to the precious beings around you. In our world, where the social fabric is torn by violence, greed, and neglect, this visionary story offers us an alternative path beyond individualism and self-preoccupation. Drawing on the deep wisdom of relational and spiritual practices that Surrey and Shem have studied, created, and engaged in over decades, this timeless and beautiful narrative shows us what deep attunement to ourselves and to one another looks like, as well as the means by which we can work to manifest it.” (Mary Watkins, author of Toward Psychologies of Liberation)“The Buddha’s Wife is a visionary work of profound insight, imagination, compassion, and scholarship. In telling the lost story of Yasodhara, Surrey and Shem give us a lamp for our troubled times, illuminating new paths and practices for all relationships.” (Susan M. Pollak, coauthor of Sitting Together)
About the Author Janet Surrey, PhD, is a Buddhist dharma leader and clinical psychologist internationally known for her work on relational theories of women’s psychological development, diversity, mothering, adoption, and substance abuse. Among other venues, Surrey has taught at Harvard Medical School and the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies. She is the author of several books. She currently divides her time between Boston and Tierra Tranquila, Costa Rica.Samuel Shem (a.k.a. Stephen Bergman), MD, is the author of several books of fiction including the bestseller The House of God. Heis a doctor, novelist, playwright, and activist. A Rhodes Scholar, he was on the faculty of Harvard Medical School for three decades and founded the Bill W. and Dr. Bob Project in the Division on Addictions at Harvard Medical School. He divides his time between Boston and Tierra Tranquila, Costa Rica.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful. Yasodhara and the Path of Right Relation By Robin Friedman In Buddhist scripture, Yasodhara was the wife of Prince Siddhartha. When at the age of 29, Siddhartha came in contact with illness, old age, and death, he decided he had to leave the palace in search of an understanding of suffering. Years later, age 35, he achieved enlightenment and became the Buddha. In the process, Siddhartha abandoned Yasodhara and left her at home with the couple's newborn son, Rahula.The Buddha's story has become increasingly familiar in the United States, but little is written about Yasodhara. The Buddhist scriptures do not say a great deal about her or about her experience when Siddhartha left on his search. Buddhist writers are aware of the difficulties surrounding Siddhartha's decision to leave home. Some years ago, I attended a week-long meditation retreat and a well-known scholar-monk offered a Dhamma talk trying to explain the basis for Siddhartha's decision in a sympathetic way. This new book, "The Buddha's Wife: Her Story and Reader's Companion, The Path of Awakening Together, " by Janet Surrey and Samuel Shem offers an imaginative retelling of the story of Yasodhara and its significance from Yasodhara's perspective. The authors, husband and wife, are extraordinarily intelligent and accomplished; in another context, they might be referred to as a "power couple". Shem is a physician who taught at Harvard Medical School for 35 years and who has written successful novels and plays. Surrey, who has also taught at Harvard Medical School, is a renowned clinical psychologist, author and Buddhist meditation leader. She and Shem have coauthored an earlier book, "We have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Women and Men" (1999) .The book begins with a highly personal introduction about the course of the authors' lives together. The body of the book is in two parts. Part one is an imagined telling of Yasodhara's story after Siddhartha abruptly leaves. She moves between grief and anger. With time Yasodhara and the Buddha's step-mother, Pajapati, form a healing circle with other women in the palace. The circle gradually expands and ultimately includes men as the participants share their experiences and feelings and learn to help one another. Yashodhara becomes known as "she who stays" as opposed to Siddhartha who left home. She develops a path called "right relations" to complement the eight-fold noble path that the Buddha would teach. The path of Right Relations focuses on "learning to live together". It is illustrated in Yasodhara's story.In the second part of the book, titled "A Reader's Companion", Surrey and Shem offer extended commentary on their telling of Yasodhara's story. In fact, they often quote sections from the story as lead-ins to their discussion. Surrey and Shem draw on their extensive knowledge of Buddhism and psychology to illuminate themes of community, understanding suffering and developing compassion, raising children, facing the old age and death of loved ones, quarrels and misunderstandings between men and women, and more. The discussions include suggestions for reflection, alone or in a group, and meditation. The discussion has a strongly Buddhist perspective but its value is not limited to followers of the Buddha.The combination of Buddhism and deep learning in medicine and psychology is inspiring in itself and not to be put aside lightly The authors know their scientific material and write in a way personal and intimate. I learned a great deal about relationships from this book and about why they succeed or fail. Most of this book in its spirituality and psychology has a great deal to teach.Although he is not mentioned, much of the book reminded me of an American philosopher I admire, the idealist thinker Josiah Royce (1855 -- 1916). Royce taught the importance of community as opposed to individualism. He used the concept of a "beloved community" which found its way into the thought of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and into this book. He also taught interconnectedness in a spiritual absolute, together with the problems of individuals in daily life. Surrey and Shem refer to the "particular challenge to spiritual communities, which point to a universal absolute beyond this worldly substrate of human experience" -- language which has an idealistic, Roycean tinge. I learned a great deal from this book in that it encouraged me to tie together the Buddhist studies I have done with my reading of Royce.I was not happy with the political content of this book, its frequently unqualified criticism of the United States, and its embrace of a particular political agenda on the left. I do not understand Buddhism as having a political agenda, anymore so (and probably less than) than do Western religions. People come to the Dhamma and to spirituality as they are without a political litmus test. In an interesting discussion of the book, the authors describe sessions they held with groups of men and women asking each group what they wanted the other gender most to understand. Both groups replied they wished the other sex to understand that "we are not your enemy". This answer too could be offered by a personified United States in response to some of the strictures in this book: "we are not your enemy". In terms of living within the terms of one's culture, I was also reminded of the following words of Royce:"That patient loyalty to the actual social order is the great reformer's first duty; that a service of just this erring humanity, with its imperfect and yet beautiful system of highly organized relationships, is the best service that a man can tender to the Ideal; that he is the best idealist who casts away as both unreal and unideal the vain private imaginings of his own weak brain, whenever he catches a glimpse of any higher and wider truth, all this lesson we, like other peoples and generations, have to study and learn."Although I am uncomfortable with the political emphasis and scope of this book, its merits far outweigh its deficiencies. The story of Yashodhara is thoughtfully and imaginatively told with much room for reflection. The book helped me understand difficult, painful issues and moments in my life as if the authors knew where I had been. The book. brought back to me the Buddhism I have studied, reminded me of the importance of community and daily life, and helped me combine my thinking about Buddhism and philosophy.Robin FriedmanThe quotation from Royce is from an essay, "An Episode of Early California Life: the Squatter" which is part of his 1898 book, "Studies of Good and Evil".
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. A Much-Needed Yin to the Buddha's Yang By Tom Pedulla Little is known about Yasodhara, the Buddha's wife, who was abandoned by her husband when he went off to seek enlightenment on the night their first and only child was born. In this bold and inspirational volume, Surrey and Shem imagine how she might have dealt with this traumatic loss, and how she eventually found her own path to awakening, not by going forth alone, but by staying where she was, sharing her grief, and finding a way through it in dialogue and in community. The result is a radical vision that combines traditional Buddhism with modern-day feminism and relational psychology, and suggests an alternative to the manic path of competition and consumption that much of the human race currently seems to be pursuing. The book also includes an extensive reader's companion with meditative exercises and other practices for those who want to explore the possibility of awakening together within their own communities.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. Thought provoking and supports my energy and desire to make my life and others a bit better. I love material that supports where By M. E. Patterson I'm still reading and enjoying each step. It allows me time to sit back and think and the material to move forward each day....then I find myself re..reading some pieces. Thought provoking and supports my energy and desire to make my life and others a bit better. I love material that supports where I'm at today and inspires my daily action.
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